Domestic violence is a pervasive issue that affects millions of individuals worldwide, regardless of age, gender, socioeconomic status, or cultural background. The domestic violence cycle is complex, and survivors face many challenges when trying to break free from abuse and their abuser.
The cycle of violence is a pattern of behavior that can be difficult to recognize and even harder to escape as it often involves a complex interplay of psychological, emotional, and physical abuse.
In this post, you’ll learn about the phases of the domestic violence cycle and the legal options available to survivors in Texas.
If you’re a victim of domestic violence, there is help available: visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline here.
Understanding the Domestic Violence Cycle
To effectively break the cycle of violence, it is essential to understand the pattern of behavior that characterizes abusive relationships. The domestic violence cycle, also known as the cycle of abuse, is defined differently by different organizations, but here is a basic breakdown.
1. Tension Building
In this phase, the abuser becomes increasingly irritable, critical, and hostile toward their partner. Minor incidents of verbal or emotional abuse may occur, such as put-downs, name-calling, or controlling behavior.
The victim often tries to placate the abuser, walking on eggshells to avoid escalation and maintain a sense of peace in the relationship.
2. Incident of Abuse
As tension continues to build, it eventually culminates in an outburst. This can include physical assault, sexual abuse, or severe emotional abuse, such as threats, intimidation, or humiliation.
The abuser may blame the victim for provoking the incident, minimizing their own responsibility and shifting the blame onto the survivor.
This phase is often the shortest but most dangerous part of the cycle as it can result in serious injury or even death.
3. Reconciliation/Honeymoon
After the incident of abuse, the abuser may express remorse, apologize profusely, and promise to change their behavior.
They may shower the victim with gifts, affection, and attention, attempting to apologize and win back their partner’s trust.
In some definitions of the domestic violence cycle, another phase happens here: the “guilt” phase, where the abuser appears to feel guilty about their actions (though in reality, they experience guilt differently from non-abusers).
The abuser may minimize or deny the severity of the abuse, claiming that it wasn’t “that bad” or that they simply “lost control.”
During this phase, the victim may feel hopeful that the abuser will change and that the relationship can be salvaged. This phase is also sometimes called the “rationalization” phase.
4. Calm or “Normal” Behavior
In the calm phase (sometimes called the “normal” behavior phase), the relationship seems to return to a state of normalcy, and the abuse may stop temporarily. The abuser may act as if nothing happened, being on their best behavior and treating their partner with kindness and respect.
However, it is important to recognize that the underlying issues that led to the abuse remain unresolved, and tension begins to build again.
Recognizing the cycle of violence is crucial for survivors and their support systems to break the pattern and seek help. The cycle can repeat itself multiple times, with the frequency and severity of abuse often escalating over time.
Remember that no one deserves to be subjected to abuse and that there is help available to those who are caught in the cycle of violence.
Legal Options for Breaking the Domestic Violence Cycle
If you are a survivor of domestic violence in Texas, you have legal options available to help you break the cycle of violence and ensure your safety.
Reporting Abuse
If you are experiencing domestic violence, we encourage you to report incidents of abuse to law enforcement. This creates an official record of the abuse and can lead to an investigation and potential criminal charges against the abuser.
We understand that reporting abuse can be a daunting and emotional process, but please know that you are not alone, and there are resources available to support you throughout this process.
Read our article on creating a domestic violence safety plan before taking this step. It’s critical that you have a plan to keep yourself and your children safe, especially if calling law enforcement is likely to exacerbate the situation.
Protective Orders
You have the right to seek a protective order (which is different from a restraining order) from the court. These orders legally prohibit the abuser from contacting, harassing, or coming near you, your children, your home, or your workplace.
Many judges in Texas will grant emergency protective orders following an arrest for family violence. We can then seek a permanent protective order, which typically lasts up to 2 years.
Protective orders can provide a sense of security and send a clear message to the abuser that their behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated.
These orders also make it easier for law enforcement to arrest the abuser in potentially dangerous situations that haven’t yet escalated into violence. In many cases, without an order, law enforcement may be unable to act, but violating the order by, for example, coming to your work or home, is enough for an arrest.
We can assist you in filing for a protective order and representing you in court to ensure that your rights are protected.
Custody and/or Visitation Modifications
If you have a custody or visitation agreement in place, an arrest for domestic violence must be reported to the court. It is more than enough to convince a judge to modify these agreements. We can help you request a change of custody.
It is highly likely that you will be named the sole managing conservator of your children if there is credible evidence of domestic violence. A police report is usually sufficient. The judge can also remove parental rights from the abuser if they deem it necessary to protect your children.
Divorce
If you are a victim of domestic violence, you are no longer subject to the 60-day waiting period, and a judge may make significantly different decisions for everything from alimony to division of property and more based on a history of domestic violence.
It is still extremely important to hire an attorney for the process as they will be able to ensure your rights are protected. Judges are impartial, and they may require additional evidence beyond an arrest.
An attorney, on the other hand, works only for you and focuses exclusively on ensuring you and your children have the maximum legal protection possible. They will not simply think about the current situation and your divorce but future potential issues that need to be mitigated.
Let’s Talk About How We Can Help You Today
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, we urge you to reach out for support from local domestic violence organizations, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline, or contact law enforcement if you feel safe doing so.
If you are trying to leave an abuser, let’s talk about how we can help you from a legal standpoint (we can also assist with divorce).
Contact us today to set up your initial consultation or call us directly at (214) 646-3253.
