If you’re a victim of domestic abuse, there is hope—and help. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline here or locally Denton County Friends of the Family, to talk to someone who can help you and your children leave safely.
It’s estimated that violence in the home is the cause of almost 25% of divorces, a staggering statistic that’s even more frightening given that the effects of domestic violence on children are incredibly damaging and long-lasting.
Experts believe that close to 25% of all children experience child abuse at some point in their lifetime. While it may be easy for bystanders to suggest that the victim simply leave to save the children, the reality is that leaving suddenly or without a well-thought-out plan can often push the abuser to become even more violent.
When it comes to domestic abuse and children, the mental, emotional, and physical scars left behind can last the rest of their lives and have a devastating impact.
It’s not something that children will “get over” or “be too young to remember.”Domestic violence is something that will linger and affect everything from a child’s mental and physical health to his or her ability to form relationships, excel in school, hold down a job, and more.
It’s crucial to understand the effects of domestic violence on children and, more importantly, to know how to support children who have endured such trauma—even while dealing with your own divorce.
In this article, you’ll learn about the horrible effects of domestic violence on children and what you can do to help (whether you’re their parent or not).
Understanding the Effects of Domestic Violence on Children
Children who witness or experience domestic violence and abuse will all respond differently, but it’s not a stretch to say that the impact can touch every aspect of their lives, from emotional well-being to physical health, social relationships, and more.
Emotional and Psychological Effects of Domestic Abuse on Children
Children living in violent homes often experience constant fear, which can lead to chronic anxiety. This anxiety often persists, evolving into more severe mental health issues like depression or even personality disorders like schizophrenia.
Witnessing or experiencing violence can also lead to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), where symptoms like flashbacks, nightmares, and severe anxiety disrupt daily life.
Constant exposure to criticism, hostility, or violence can erode a child’s self-worth, leading to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Many children wrongly blame themselves for the violence, feeling guilty or ashamed about their family situation.
Behavioral Effects
The behavioral impact of domestic violence on children can manifest in various ways. Some children might mimic the abusive behaviors they observe, becoming aggressive or violent themselves.
In fact, it’s estimated that children who are victims of physical abuse are 1.7 times more likely to commit violence themselves.
Others may withdraw from social interactions, becoming isolated and avoiding friends and activities they once enjoyed. Exposure to domestic violence can significantly impact school performance, with children struggling to concentrate, leading to lower grades and a higher risk of dropping out.
As a coping mechanism, some children might turn to drugs or alcohol, further compounding their problems.
Physical Health Effects
The physical toll of living in a violent environment is obvious—direct or indirect involvement in violent incidents can lead to physical injuries. However, even children who “only” witness domestic violence can experience severe health issues.
For example, the stress from a violent home environment can manifest as chronic health problems, such as headaches, stomachaches, and other stress-related conditions. They might stop sleeping, start stuttering, start wetting the bed, or start sucking their thumb.
Prolonged exposure to violence can negatively impact physical and cognitive development, leading to delays in reaching developmental milestones.
Social Effects
Socially, children affected by domestic violence often struggle to form healthy relationships. Trust issues and fear of intimacy can make it hard for them to connect with others.
These children may also have difficulties with social interactions, leading to problems in making and maintaining friendships and forming romantic and non-romantic relationships when they get older.
They often also struggle with the basic requirements of life, like getting a job and a place to live. In fact, people who experienced severe abuse as children have higher levels of absenteeism and are more likely to show up sick to work. They’re also more likely to become homeless at a young age.
Finally, they become much more likely to become victims or abusers themselves. It’s estimated that young male children who witness their mothers being abused are 10 times more likely to abuse a female partner when they get older.
Young female children who observe their mothers being abused are 6 times more likely to be sexually abused at some point in their lives.
As you can see, it’s crucial that children who are the victims of abuse be removed from abusive situations immediately and placed into the custody of a safe, supportive adult with the time, interest in, and capacity to take care of them long-term. The longer the effects of domestic violence on children are allowed to build, the worse for your children in the long run.
How to Support Children Who Have Experienced Domestic Violence
Because the effects of domestic violence on children are so horrific, it’s crucial to get them out of their violent environment as quickly as possible.
Once they’re safe, supporting children who have experienced domestic violence requires a compassionate, comprehensive approach that addresses their emotional, psychological, and physical needs.
Legal Support
Because so many abused children are the victims of their own parents, getting them into safety can sometimes be more difficult than you might think, especially if their abuser is adept at covering up their abuse.
Even if it’s your own child who is being abused, without involving the authorities, your spouse will likely be fully within their legal rights to demand access to your child. It’s critical that you report the abuse as soon as possible to the proper authorities, whether that be your local police department, Texas Child Protective Services, or even the FBI in some cases of sexual abuse.
It’s also highly crucial that you speak to an attorney right away who can help put safeguards in place while the authorities investigate.
They can file for emergency restraining orders and long-term protective orders, assist you in collecting evidence of the abuse, and help you file a lawsuit against the abuser on behalf of your child to ensure your child receives the financial support they need to live away from their abuser.
Working with lawyers who specialize in domestic violence cases can help you navigate the legal system effectively. Texas also has many domestic violence advocacy groups that can provide resources and support for your child and family, such as the Texas Advocacy Project and the Texas Council on Family Violence.
Emotional and Psychological Support
The first step in supporting domestically abused children is to ensure they are in a safe, non-violent environment. Establishing a trusting relationship where your child feels secure and understood is crucial.
Engaging your child in trauma-informed therapy, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or play therapy, tailored to their age and experiences can have a huge impact once the abuse has stopped. Consistent therapeutic sessions help your child process their experiences and develop coping strategies.
It’s also important to allow your child to express their feelings without judgment. Validating their emotions and reassuring them that their feelings are normal can make a significant difference in their outcomes. Encouraging your child to express themselves through art, writing, or other creative outlets can also be helpful.
Behavioral Support
Positive reinforcement is key in helping children build self-esteem. Recognizing and praising their efforts and achievements fosters a sense of accomplishment. Helping your child set and achieve small, manageable goals can also be very effective.
Maintaining consistent daily routines provides a sense of normalcy and predictability. Allowing your child to have a say in creating routines can help them feel more in control of their environment.
Educational Support
Working with teachers and school counselors to ensure they are aware of your child’s situation allows them to provide appropriate support. Given that they may spend more time during the week with your child than you do, they play a vital role in your child’s recovery.
Providing tutoring or additional academic help if your child is struggling in school can prevent them from falling behind. Encouraging participation in group activities and social skills training can help your child build healthy relationships.
Finally, involving your child in mentorship programs where they can interact with positive, safe role models can also help them to heal and rebuild their trust in adults.
Physical Health Support
Ensuring your child receives regular medical check-ups and any necessary medical treatment is crucial, especially long-term as many of the effects of domestic violence on children will last for years, if not decades, and many other effects may not manifest until they’re much older.
It’s also important to ensure they receive balanced nutrition and have plenty of opportunities for physical activity. Depending on the type of abuse they endured, you may need to work with a physical therapist and/or nutritionist to ensure their unique needs are being met.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Supporting children who have experienced domestic violence and abuse requires a compassionate, multi-faceted approach that addresses their immediate needs and fosters long-term healing and resilience (once they’ve been safely removed from danger).
Remember, if you’re a victim of domestic abuse, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline to talk to someone who can help you and your children leave safely.
Once you and your children are safe, we can help you move forward with a protective order and/or emergency restraining orders, read more about Emily’s story and how our team was able to be a resource for her as she navigated these challenges times.
Contact us to set up your initial consultation or call us directly at (214) 646-3253.
